FROM WHERE I STAND
From where I stand, I just experienced the best summer ever. I took Two vacations. One was to Redding, the other was a awsome trip to San Diego.
First I went to my dad's house. I mostly stayed inside because of the unbearable heat. The highlights were speding time with him, and going to the waterslides. Which were awsome and fun. Next I went to San Diego was the next destination.
We Had two days layed out at the DisneyResort.I rode on rides, ate food,&took pictures at Disneyland.I went shopping at DowntownDisney.
I had fun experiencing New things , I loved it!
First I went to my dad's house. I mostly stayed inside because of the unbearable heat. The highlights were speding time with him, and going to the waterslides. Which were awsome and fun. Next I went to San Diego was the next destination.
We Had two days layed out at the DisneyResort.I rode on rides, ate food,&took pictures at Disneyland.I went shopping at DowntownDisney.
I had fun experiencing New things , I loved it!
posted by A Band Geek.... and proud of it!!! at 2:44 PM
1 Comments:
You sent me your freewrites three times! Just to be sure, I guess. That's okay, better safe than sorry.
Your poems are good, but I want to encourage you to write with more concrete, imagistic language. Help the reader see, smell, taste, touch, and hear what's going on in your poem.
"Skull" does this better than the others.
Try more prose, and write on a variety of topics. Try new ideas.
Good effort.
B+
Post a Comment
<< Home